Original

Chuck Norris Sayings


 












Original Chuck Norris Sayings Not Found Anywhere Else online
By: The Working Man



This page was nothing until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked
it, it then landed as number one in Google and all the
other search engines who were too frightened to not
list it number one.


All over the Internet you will find Chuck Norris Lines
and Chuck Norris Sayings. On this page you will find
Chuck Norris lines and sayings you won't find anywhere
else on the Internet.


Be sure to check out our Chuck Norrissaurus page too!



You are reading this page not because you want to, but
because you are afraid if you don't and Chuck finds
out...... you will be history.


No one messes with Chuck Norris.
This is a fact recorded in the Guinness Book of World Records,
and one which will never be broken.


The Earth rotates around the Sun because Chuck Norris
roundhouse kicked planet Earth into orbit. The moon is
actually the part he kicked which broke off and
went itself into orbit.

What most folks don't realize is that before Noah's flood,
it had never rained on Earth. They called Chuck Norris
back in time to make it rain. When Chuck kicked the earth
(see above for more details....) the Earth cried
and that's what people first called rain.

There were so many tears (rain) that the entire earth was
flooded.

Every time it has rained since is tears from the residual pain
the Earth is suffering from that first roundhouse kick.


Comets are actually the fall out debris from several
CNRK's (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kicks) given in succession.
They will continue to be hurtling through space until
the time in which Chuck Norris wills them to stop.
Then they will disintegrate into nothingness.



Chuck Norris once taught his cat to roundhouse kick. All
the mice in Chuck Norris's house immediately fell dead from fright.

Pit Bulls are afraid of Chuck Norris's cat.

His cat learned to roundhouse kick because it was afraid
not to.



Bruce Lee has a poster of Chuck Norris hanging in his bedroom.

Chuck Norris has a poster of Chuck Norris hanging in his bedroom.

What kind of poster do you have hanging in your bedroom?
If it's not one of Chuck, he will find out and you're
dead f*#$%ng meat.

Chuck Norris's cat has a poster of Chuck Norris hanging
over it's litter box.



World War 2 would have been over in one day if Chuck Norris
had gotten involved, he would have roundhouse
kicked Berlin and Hiroshima into submission.


On Walker Texas Ranger all of Chuck Norris' victims are
actually computer generated models. No stunt man would
be crazy enough to act the role of one of the villains,
even if Chuck agreed to actually not kick them, the
wind from the kick would blow them half way around the planet.

Even the software used to generate the models has to
be re-written after each kick which seems to have the ability
to affect the molecular structure of the computer software
into submission and fright and it refuses to generate
more animation.


Chuck Norris drives a Dodge Ram Truck, not because he
likes Dodges, but because Dodge is afraid of him not
liking them and gives him all the trucks he wants.


Chuck Norris's truck goes faster than any other truck,
not because it's souped up, but because it's afraid not to.


Everyone knows that Chuck Norris is the one who let the
dogs out. What everyone doesn't realize is..... he's also
the one that penned them up to begin with.


Whoever wrote I bet you can't eat just one, didn't
know Chuck Norris.


There's a misconception on the Internet that Chuck Norris
once sold his soul to the devil. That's simply not
true. The devil was afraid of Chuck Norris to start with.

What really happened is the devil pleaded mercy and sold it's
soul to Chuck Norris who then roundhouse kicked the
devil's soul into the outer recesses of the universe.
Scientists have named this weird astronomical
structure Black Holes.


Chuck Norris's hairdresser doesn't know, and further more,
doesn't want to know.


Chuck Norris CAN stop a moving train.



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