The Wisdom Of Larry The Cable Guy
By: The Working Man
The humor of Larry the Cable Guy is what most people would
consider to be satire. And oddly, even though they are delivered
by a redneck with a Southern accent they are often insightful and
make you think a little differently about bias and bigotry. Some
people miss what is obvious and Larry the Cable
Guy enjoys
pointing that out.
Here are some of his one-line jokes that are silly and insightful
and darn right funny.
1. A day without sunshine is like ...night.
2. On the other hand, ...you have different fingers.
3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse
gets the cheese in the trap.
9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
20. Why do psychics have to ask you your name?
21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering,
'What the heck happened?'
22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would
all fall off.
23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people
appear bright until you hear them speak.
24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates; it's more like a jar
of jalapeno's. What you do today, might burn your butt
tomorrow.
Read those again with thought and you may change your opinion
of Larry for the better.
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