Saw Jokes
By: The Working Man
Schizophrenic Construction Workers
On the third floor of an unfinished building a construction
worker realized that he needed a hand saw. He was too lazy
to go down to the first floor and get it himself, so he tried
to call down to his fellow construction worker on the first
floor to bring one up to him. Unfortunately, the first floor
construction worker couldn't hear what he was saying to him.
So he thought he would try some sign language and leaned
over so the guy could see him down below.
First he pointed to his eye, then he pointed to his knees,
and finally moved his hand back and forth for the movement
of a hand saw.
The construction worker on the first floor nodded his head
and acted like he understood what he was communicating to
him.
The worker on the first floor then started pointing up at
him over and over again.
So the construction worker on the third floor got mad and
ran down to the construction worker on the first floor and
yelled at him, "You dummy, I needed a hand saw and that was
what I was trying to tell you."
The other guy replied, "I got that, I was trying to tell you
that I was bringing it right up."
A Doctor on duty in the psych ward was doing his normal
morning rounds. He entered one of his patient's room and
found his patient sitting on the floor, moving his hand back
and forth across a piece of wood.
Another patient of his was in the room hanging by his feet
from the ceiling.
The doctor asked the first patient out of curiosity what he
was doing. The patient said irritated, "I'm sawing a piece
of wood in half, can't you see that?"
The doctor asked "What is the other fellow doing hanging
from the ceiling?"
The patient responded, "Oh, He's a friend of mine, but he's
kind of nutty. He believes himself to be a light bulb."
The doctor says, "So why don't you help your friend down
from there so that he doesn't hurt himself?"
The patient, "Oh sure, and what am I supposed to do? Work in
the dark!?"
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