What Engineers Say

& What it Really Means
 


 












Engineer to English Dictionary
By: The Working Man



* The Engineer Says: We are approaching the problem from many
different angles.

English Translation: We have no idea what's wrong.



* The Engineer Says: We have some of our best men on it.

English Translation: We have three new employees, who have
no idea which end of the screwdriver to hold, working on
your car or project.



* The Engineer Says: We are closely supervising the repairs.

English Translation: We are watching wrestling in the office
and eating donuts while your car or project sits in the
garage or workshop.



* The Engineer Says: We just had a major technical
breakthrough.

English Translation: It Works! Hopefully, it stays that way.



* The Engineer Says: Customer satisfaction is guaranteed upon
delivery.

English Translation: If you ever see your car or
project again you will be so happy that you won't mind that
it isn't working exactly right.



* The Engineer Says: The preliminary tests we ran on it were
inconclusive.

English Translation: Well, the thing blew up
when we turned it on and now we are trying to figure out how
to put it back together.



The Engineer Says: The test results came out extremely good.

English Translation: It Works! It works! We don't know how
but it works!



* The Engineer Says: I'm sorry but it just won't work.

English Translation: The only person who knew what to do
and how to fix it quit.



* The Engineer Says: It's in the works.

English Translation: If you ever see this again you are lucky.



* The Engineer Says: We will look into it.

English Translation: Oops, forgot.



* The Engineer Says: Please sign and date.

English Translation: We don't want you to sue us.




* The Engineer Says: What do you think?

English Translation: We will humor you because you are
the client but we really don't care what is coming
out of your mouth.



* The Engineer Says: How would you interpret this?

English Translation: Ha, Ha, ha, ha.



* The Engineer Says: Let's talk.

English Translation: I'm bored and lonely and you are
good looking (if female). Or, I'm just bored and lonely.



* The Engineer Says: As good as new!

English Translation: We just Mickey Moused it together
and it works, for now.



* The Engineer Says: Rugged.

English Translation: This is too darn heavy to lift.



* The Engineer Says: Lightweight.

English Translation: Not as heavy as rugged but still
too heavy to lift.



* The Engineer Says: After years of development.

English Translation: One of them finally worked.



* The Engineer Says: Energy saver.

English Translation: Saves energy when it is turned off.



* The Engineer Says: Easy to maintain.

English Translation: You can't fix it if it breaks.



* The Engineer Says: We adjusted it while testing.

English Translation: We smacked it with a hammer.



* The Engineer Says: It took some persuasion.

English Translation: We hit it with a hammer several times till it worked.



* The Engineer Says: It must be the _______ again. (insert part)

English Translation: I have no idea why it isn't working
or started working or is working again but I'm
going to take the credit.



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